In the last 6 months, I did many wrongs.

I fell into drugs and drinking, I was at bars every night, I was doing very questionable things for money, I failed several classes, I gained a ton of weight, and I became such a shitty person that I lost a lot of friends.

I don’t regret it because it made me reflect upon a lot of things. Upon who I was and who I was becoming. On how much I truly loved myself. On who I kept around me, who encouraged me to remain how I was, who was around when I put myself in these dangerously addictive and potentially life threatening situations.

At the time I thought I was just having fun. Dumb, naive, 21 year old fun. But it wasn’t that. Maybe at first, but it was really ruining my life. And before I could recognize the depth I had sunk, it was too late. I was drowning and I had to face the consequences. The pain of salt water stinging my eyes and nose and throat and the discomfort of polluted liquid filling my lungs with each gasp.

However, I didn’t succumb. It would’ve been much easier to, but I didn’t. The money was good, the lifestyle was sustainable, the nights were spontaneous. But I’d become a hollow shell of this girl who used to be creative and had a shine in her eyes; the ember burned poorly but hadn’t yet extinguished.

So now, surrounded by the best of the best, loved by an incredibly positive group of people, and ensuring I take a little bit more of a step in the right direction everyday inspired by the greatness I was so blind not to see around me, I’ve stepped into a light. I may not be the shining sweet girl from before this fall, but like a phoenix rising from ashes I’ve grown a thousand fold stronger.

And I’m ever so grateful to them all for their guidance. Stay tuned, this blog’s about to get very very happy.